Sunday, December 28, 2008


57. Punisher vs. the Russian

The Russian was one of the deadliest killers in the whole world, able to take down entire Delta Force squads with ease, so when he was sent after Frank Castle, the Punisher, Castle was pretty much screwed.

The Russian showed up and proceeded to more or less mop the floor with Castle, practically beating Castle to death.

Luckily, the Punisher was at least able to move the fight out of his own apartment building and he and the monstrous Russian burst into the apartment of Castle’s neighbor, the morbidly obese Mr. Bumpo. It was here that the Punisher finally got some good luck, as Bumpo had just returned home with five pipin’ hot pizzas. The Punisher threw the hot pizza in the Russians face - the burning grease distracted the Russian long enough for the Punisher to trip the Russian and, in one of the most absurdly gross methods of killing a man, knocked the 1200 pound Mr. Bumpo on to the Russian’s face and kept him there for a half hour, smothering the Russian to death.

For good measure, the Punisher decapitated the Russian.

Of course, that, amusingly enough, was not the last we would see of the Russian, but that’s another story (a hilarious one, but still, another one), also from the same creators of this issue, Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon…

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